It’s been a while. For several reasons, but the most predominant being that I couldn’t bring myself to write about anything. Not a single thing. Every event and every feeling after the fiasco that was the middle of my Junior year tasted of bitter anticlimax. I couldn’t bring myself to write about any of it. And so the blog has been dead. For so long that I’ve gotten past the stage in my silence where people ask me if I’m still blogging. For the most part, this part of me has been forgotten- thrown in with the rest of the things that have happened this year.I am surprisingly okay with that. If we’re being honest, I’m over it. This blog is a part of me, but in no way the entirety, though many would like to think otherwise. Plus, I’ve reached a point where prom brackets and who’s dating who are no longer acceptable categories of subject matter for my work. I take that as both a blessing and a curse.
Despite me saying this before, it has seemed to escape the knowledge of my peers that these things aren’t really what matter. I know they’re the topics you use to distract yourself from the stuff going on in your life. It’s the same thing that the masses do to famous people, just on a smaller, more local scale. Why do you think tabloids still exist? TMZ? E! News? Because everyone is bored. They will quite literally pay for a distraction. You too, paid me for your fix. The currency being your time and attention.
We love hearing about how much everyone else’s shit stinks because it preoccupies us from dealing with our own business. That’s the only reason this blog got so popular. I think its notoriety, especially that earned from my earliest posts, says much more about the general psyche of Princeton High than it does about myself. I could have been so easily ignored PHS, but you drank me up as though I were the last beer at a party and you were the only sober person left in the room.
You waited eagerly for me to deliver hot-off-the-press gossip. To expose your classmates so that you had something to talk about at school the next day- something aside form your GPA. And I delivered. Time and time again. Until I began switching up the content matter. I started talking about dress codes, and misogyny and racial profiling. Let’s be honest, if I had initially entered your world screaming about inequality and the freaking wage gap, would you have given me the time of day? I’d go from a beer to a bottle of Pepto-Bismol instantaneously.
So I did what I knew would work. I gave you that momentary satisfaction which substance-less conversation tends to provide. Yet, it leaves a bad taste in the back of your mouth, every time, without fail. But you didn’t mind and neither did I. I was building myself a platform. I was creating a forum where I could say what really mattered and be assured that the masses would hear it, consume it readily, searching for an ounce of that inebriating gossip which they run off of. I was setting myself up. I don’t know what you were doing.
Nonetheless, here we are. It’s the end of the year and subsequently the end of the blog as you know it. Not forever. Not even for more than three months. I’ll be back in the fall. You’ll still have the privilege of being able to know what I think about everything. I know, how generous of me.
I figured I should give you all I proper goodbye. You have been so good to me and so stunningly awful at the same time. Whether you have stood with or against me, you have taken the time to read what it is I have taken the time to write, and that is something for which I will be infinitely grateful.
I’m going to go enjoy my summer. You go enjoy yours.
Until next time,